youre lurking in front of me
Sponge bath it is.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
