tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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