hotel room ftw
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
