she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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