if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
