How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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