So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
