New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
