you would pick up someone in the library
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
