i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
