By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
farters have to be the big spoon...
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
