I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
