Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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