I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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