Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
