i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
