with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
cat food counts as protein by the way
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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