Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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