Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Swine flu is the new snow day.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
