i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
