the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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