used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
