he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
