i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
