Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
