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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
