i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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