next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
