thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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