he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
