I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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