I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
