you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
