I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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