the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
