Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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