She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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