5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
