Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
