Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
