shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
