That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
