I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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