it wasn't lemon gatorade
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
