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He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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