I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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