i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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