I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
