He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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