We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
