I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
