Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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