new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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