I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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