At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
