Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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