Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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