Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
did you just send me my own nude
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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