Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
